I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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