Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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