help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize