Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
