I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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