She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
People in love make me want to vomit
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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