This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I will be naked everywhere
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I have aggressive nipples.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
