I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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