Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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