The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
