Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize