i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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