Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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