I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
