Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
