Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize