Taylor Swift is so right about you.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
