I never want to see another naked old woman again.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
