oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
