Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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