Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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