make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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