His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
