one two three fourrrrnication!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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