the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
