Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
