If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
