Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
