operation harelip BJ is a go
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
not ubering you a puppy
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
