Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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