Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
