I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
