My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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