Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Randomize
