I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
