Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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