Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
