I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
