The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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