was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
