I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
