Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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