you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Randomize
