Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
