You're a womanizer and a bitch.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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