I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
