uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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