I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Randomize
