If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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