Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
