WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
