4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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