I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize