Small penises have feelings too.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
