You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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