I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
