Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
