Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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