yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
