We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
