We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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