You're a womanizer and a bitch.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
