I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
