Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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