You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
