careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
