You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
