your room smells of hookers.
And success
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Found your dick twin last night
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
