Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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