I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
