I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
