the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
