And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
