Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
How does one acquire holy water?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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