Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
