the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
