I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
