Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
