Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
