Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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