I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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