im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
