sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
