I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
it glows. i had to have it.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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