The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
