I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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