oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
