He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
