Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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