Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
