If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize